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I'm being quite optimistic here when I say that this could potentially be the last blog post I write as a single girl. I have been doing a lot of reading for personal growth and relationship advise over the last year, as I find myself ready to re-enter the dating world again. #scary. What I have found most interesting in the relationship advise corner is the importance placed on feminine and masculine energies, how to keep the energy balanced and how our natural human instincts all relate.
I have no trouble teaching couples in love, getting the best out of them and bringing them even closer together through the art of dance, however my past record of relationships go to show that I am $h*t at finding or maintaining a suitable partner for myself.
I have been talking to my couples a lot lately about the lead and follow relationship in dancing, how the man gets to lead, be in control, take charge etc, while the lady has to allow this to happen by 'taking a back seat' so to speak. Most times when I'm chatting to my couples they will agree that the lady has done most of the wedding planning if not all, and that the man is already (pre wedding) accustomed to saying 'yes' and accommodating his futures wife's wishes. Happy wife, happy life! So in every day life the woman has, in a sense taken the lead, she's the one getting things done, planning ahead (that's natural for us women), and in control of progression.
Now this may be all fine and dandy and suit many couples in their happy life's, but there's a mans' natural instinct that is being denied here, that has the energy balance all out of whack.
What do I mean by that? Men are born to lead instinctually, they want to be the one you can rely on, the support, the rock! It's built into them! When us women decide we have to take the reigns and plan everything, take charge and make things happen at the pace we want it to, it takes this role away from our men. This is leaving them feeling less respected, less important, less trusted. It tips the scales to woman leading, man following which may look a bit like... he says yes to everything, won't plan a date because he thinks now it's your role, is lazy at decision making, and she's calling all the shots.
Luckily there is such a thing called dancing, that restores the balance and puts everything back to where it should be for just a moment in time, and it feels soooo damn good! #catchfeels. Couples who dance together experience this kind of 'magic' that can't be explained. It's this incredible feeling that makes them so happy, it's addictive! Perhaps this is because not only do you get to work together on a common goal, you get to do something together that is close contact, you're sharing an interest, and perhaps it's because it allows us to fall into our natural roles as man leading and lady following? Dancing sparks this connection that feels so good and leaves you on such a natural high, it's just meant to be that way!
Dancing together as a couple can really benefits the quality of a relationship. It bonds you, strengthens your connection, builds trust between you, takes your communication to another level, and it hits 2 out of 5 love languages: affection/physical touch & quality time together. That magical feeling that couples feel while dancing together is difficult to explain unless you've experienced this for yourself, and I highly recommend you do!
There's loads of free beginner dance classes in Brisbane in all kinds of dance styles you could try. If you're considering learning a First Dance for your wedding, you won't regret it!
So ladies... let your man lead every now and then, not just on the dance floor but daily, and watch the positive shift in your relationship! It may just bring you even closer together 😉
As for me, well for the first time ever there's a little dance magic happening in my life. Time will tell if it's the lasting kind 😌
Kylie - Wedding Dance Diva
